profile diary tagboard links

i realised being 18 means you can,

purchase alcohol (yay finally)
bet at singapore pools
dont need sneak into clubs
watch m18 movies..
can you go into those sex shops?

but i had the worst birthday, probably in my 18 years of life.

it was horrible, and i don't want to go on and elaborate on how bad it is.

right from the start to the end of the day it was shittzzz.

and for one thing, it marks the end of being 17, all its nostalgia of being almost an adult, but not yet one.

am so disappointed with myself.

to do badly at the subject you like just sucks like, real bad.

tested on stuff that i didnt really memorised AGAIN.
so do i blame it on bad luck?
or do i blame myself for not memorising everything?

feels like shit right now.

那天，难得拿起一份联合早报。
好久好久好久没看早报了。
我应该觉得内疚吧。哈哈哈。

拿起早报，看的不是头条，最后看一些有的没的，
翻到了宋爱玲(应该是宋爱玲吧？她还活着吧？）的一片，算是散文吧。她从头到尾，一直写的是关于蒸肉饼的事。说奶奶如果看到孙子不耐烦，就会在蒸肉饼里放多些花雕，孙子吃了会容易睡午觉。

那散文当中，是否要传达某些深奥的意义，我真的不知道啦，可能是我太肤浅了，只是她形容的各式各样蒸肉饼，让我垂涎三尺，现在真的好想吃蒸肉饼喔。

感觉，这东西很奇怪。
它不给你面子，不来，就是不来。
来了，却又让你无法自拔。

我无法形容，无法拼凑，无法解释的感觉。

最近这里好像被我抛弃，尘埃已开始堆积了。。
哈哈哈。不过也有种预感，来这里的人也逐渐少了，看到一大段用华语噼里啪啦一些有的没的还细心阅读一字一句的人也几乎是零吧。。

现在的我应该在做的事为明天的general paper埋头苦读，不过不知为何突发奇想想到这里po一下。

这几天我想我的同志们都在努力奋斗吧！
猜我在干吗！
我每天几乎睡到中午十二点太阳晒到屁股才起床。
以前的早睡早起的习惯不知躲到哪儿了。
可能懒虫又找上我了。。但也有可能是为了即将来临的战斗做好准备吧。。没读饱但也至少要睡饱吧！哈哈哈

不过说真的，不知为何前几天真的是累垮了，疲惫不知从何而来，无缘无故找上门。睡到骨头都散了，越睡越累，好辛苦才从被窝里爬出。。。:(

哦，不过我也在这几天深思了一些东西/事情。
发现自己变了！
不知变得是好是坏，还是只是变会以前的自己。
不知是学会独立，还是对爱情失去了憧憬。
我几乎掏心掏肺，用尽了所有热忱，希望，力量，去爱一个我到现在还不知道他有没有珍惜过我的人。
然后当我跌倒后，选择自己费时费力地爬起来而不是傻傻投进别人的怀抱之后，我觉得我变骄傲了，我宁愿自己过自己的生活，疼自己而不是疼别人，也不要其他人来疼自己，怕自己亏欠那个人。我选择，只为自己烦恼，不为了其他人做某些事，不为其他人付出。

我自私了，任性了，我的心是否死了？

人总是这样，好的给你，你不要，然后自讨苦吃，挖一个坑，自己跳进去。不知为何，我觉得，要爱，就要爱得轰轰烈烈，爱得要生要死。爱要有激情，有失望，有疯狂，有有如锋利的刀不断捅你心的那种感觉......

我可能只不过是一个普普通通的十七岁的女生，可能一生中没有什么事可称得上疯狂，但我觉得我人生道理就是如此。我害怕苍老，我要趁年轻时，无忧无虑地享受着每一刻。想做什么就去做，想逃跑就逃跑，不受任何约束。

但我不排斥爱情，我还是很期待热血沸腾，激昂澎湃。哈哈哈。（我没有看偶像剧啊。。）

seems like i'm abandoning my poor old blog for twitter :(

so much to say! yet so little to say here.
things have gone back in place, yet other things have gone out of place :(

sigh, everything's moving SOOOOO FAST!.

i smell bacon downstairs :D
i hope its a good day today. it felt like i haven't blogged for the longest time, haha twitter so suits my one line post style.

i was having that little tingly feeling called fear last night before i finally fell asleep.

i don't know if you call it wasting time, cos i didn't plonk down in front of the tv or something and not do productive stuff.i didn't felt like i was wasting time away. and then accidents like some growth in your eye appears really do happen...but then i shouldn't be justifying my lack of revision with all these silly excuses..do you think so?

church camp is 4 days. and i'm seriously feeling.like.crap. is this a question of faith? i'll be honest and say that the only thing that is stopping me from pulling out of the camp is the fact that i paid 150 bucks for the camp. 4 freaking days, i can do so much revision now that my eye has fully recovered.

we were supposed to make camp objectives and pray before our camp. and i think, i need to pray fervently. i'm so tempted to even pray to Guanyin and Allah too, at the state i'm in. but i prayed to God, i don't ask for miracles like pass with flying colours for BT2, but i think i want to go to camp, forge a stronger relationship with God, come back a person with a stronger will, and study from morning till night with MIGHTY DETERMINATION.RAHHHHHHHHH.i see myself do it before once and the fruits of the labour was sweet i want to see myself do it consecutively for TWO BLOODY WEEKS. i really wish God will give me power to do that.

hahaha, i'm at mentoring camp now, and the kids are playing wargames in the field. but then i'm in LT1 illegally using alton's laptop and listening to music :P

i can't play :( :( :( stupid period, stain everything AGAIN.

and alton's laptop has like keys that dropped out....

i'm kinda looking forward to campfire later.haha.

short term:

pay ahxue $12
pay pea $18
treat byeo
new shoes
leggings/stockings of all sorts
decent dump everything inside bag
venezia icecream
starbucks/coffeebean
bodyshop makeup

sodagreen's new album

long term:

perm, colour hair
travel
wedding
retirement

A for geog
B for chem
C for GP
E for math
E for physics

i'm being a little ambitious here, considering my BT1 results, but hey, you won't score high if you don't aim high :)

TEACHERS are encouraged to become more involved in designing and researching their own teaching, learning contexts and practices, said Ms Grace Fu, senior minister of state for national development and education at the opening of the third Redesigning Pedagogy International Conference on Monday.
The biennual conference, organised by the National Institute of Education from Monday to Wednesday, was attended by about 1,200 participants - about two thirds of whom are teachers and education officers - from 27 countries.

A keynote address by Professor David Berliner from the Arizona State University in the United States highlighted the unintended consequences of a preoccupation of test scores on reading and mathematics in the US: undermining motivation in students, less time given to other subjects like social studies, history, art, physical education and science.

Asked about the education system here, he said Singapore's focus to Teach Less, Learn More is on the right track, though it has not achieved the outcome yet.

More than 400 papers will be presented at this year's conference.

st.com

haha, just when i was telling bkoh this morning how our geog lectures should be conducted like ted lecture series.

i love ted lectures!!!!!!!!!!!!